Issues with dating widows
In 2006, after the death of her husband, Richard Carlson, Ph.
D., author of the best-selling "Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff" books, Kristine Carlson felt a loss that sent her on a healing journey through grief.
Not all comparisons are bad; they are simply an acknowledgement that something is different than something else.
Most widow(er)s probably wouldn’t expect or want for you to be just like their late spouse, so there’s little use in wondering if you’ll “measure up”.
She felt lonely and wanted the companionship, so she let it be that.
“Don’t be too hasty to jump into a real relationship,” she says.
Often, they are dealing with guilt, feeling as though they’d be betraying the spouse or the marriage, and that has to be healed.
One way to heal it is to acknowledge it and grant yourself permission to live your new life.
“Take the stand that you will move forward,” she says.
So when I learned about Carlson’s success with her support network, I decided to ask her to share some tips about how you can make dating your next healthy choice: Tip #1: Let yourself be complete and whole “It’s easy to jump right into a new relationship,” she says, “but if you want to attract a healthy relationship, it starts with being healthy yourself.” You deserve the time to heal, no matter how long it takes.
Six years after the death of her beloved husband, Carlson, has yet to remarry and says she’s just now “starting to warm up to the idea.” Tip #2: Let the first relationships you have be the transitions that they are “My first encounter [after Richard] was a healing relationship,” she says.
As a follow-up to our article, here are more thoughts on navigating the often tricky waters of dating someone who is beginning to date after grieving the untimely loss of their partner or spouse – from Members of our own Widow/Widowers community here on e Harmony Advice, in their own words.
As you’ll see from the passages below, everyone’s reaction to their circumstance, opinions and experiences are going to be different, so it’s important to keep in mind the specific needs of your match as you progress.Annother:“It’s not the comparison one might assume it to be.